Category: Relaxation

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Learning To Relax – My Journey

As you may know, I have been running my Embrace Relaxation and Meditation classes for a few months now, and I previously blogged about how I got started here. Today I want to tell you about the journey I have been on myself, and why and how I first became interested in relaxation.

Hippies, Fairies and Mung Beans

If you had asked me my thoughts on relaxation or meditation 20 years ago, I would have been quite closed-minded to the idea, and would have had a particular ‘type’ of person in my mind. Although in my teenage years I wore an abundance of tie-dye, fragranced my bedroom with incense and listened to Jimi Hendrix, I wouldn’t have had a clue about meditation or relaxation! But as I got into my 20’s I started to feel aches and pains in my body, the likes of which I hadn’t experienced before. As I started my career in teaching, it became evident that something was wrong. After what seemed like months of tests, we had a name for what I was going through – an auto-immune type of arthritis. ‘Arthritis? But I am only 23!’ I remember thinking. The next few years were hard; trying out different medications and beginning to realise what the future might hold.

Me aged 23, and getting used to life with pain.

Pain

The pains which had started in my right heel, had spread to my left knee, and on any given day could be in my fingers, wrists, shoulders, upper spine, ribs, sternum, ankles, toes, neck and lower back. Coupled with actual pain was the continual sensation of feeling feverish. It was horrendous. The more pain I was in, the more depressed I felt and the less I thought I could do. Most weeks I had to have at least one day in bed, which was not great for my career, my self-esteem or my mental health.

The Turning Point

During this time I had started to see a counsellor for a seemingly unrelated issue, and we were talking about the idea of self-efficacy. It was then that I had my light-bulb moment. It dawned on me that if my illness was auto-immune, and my body was making it, then it could also work out how to fix it. As the words came out of my mouth I realised that something in me had changed forever. Such is the power of words and therapy my friends!

The Journey Back to Health

That strike of inspiration happened about 7 years ago, but it was still another year before I was willing and able to do anything about it. I kept thinking about ways to look after my body; eat better, sleep better, take more (gentle) exercise, and just learn to listen to the many signs and signals my body was trying to give me. It was a fine balancing act between doing enough, but not too much (which could end in a flare-up). The key issue was deciding to take charge, and ultimately responsibility for the body and mind in which I was living, and not to blame an illness, but to encourage and nurture my own wellness. It sounds easy, but it wasn’t. It was a journey of many steps, and it’s one I am still on today.

Me this year. Happy and healthy 🙂

How Did Relaxation Help?

This was actually one of the last stages of my journey. Since I started studying NLP a few years ago, I have made a conscious effort to engage more with my body and my kinesthetic side by taking up more physical pursuits, including Tai Chi, Yoga, walking, massage, swimming, Zumba and so on. I also started to listen to guided meditation Cds, which were an easy way in for someone with little experience. As with anything, it took time to get used to and I had to try at first. I found it hard to switch off my internal chatter and found that I would focus on the person’s voice or accent – anything to detract from the business of relaxing! I then tried listening to meditative music, (without words) and this helped quieten my mind.

Puffin presenting a guided meditation cd.

Last year I read a book on holiday called ‘Teach Us to Sit Still’ by Tim Parks and I had another light bulb moment! I realised that a lot of the time I was making things worse for myself, by holding tension in my body, or ignoring a physical need, or tensing muscles somewhere deep within me. I started to work on breaking these habits and began to understand how to ‘let go’, and how to ‘breathe into the pain’. These things have changed the way I live my life.

My Relaxation Classes

In my class I attempt to create a safe environment where women of all ages can learn to relax. I have benefited from learning to relax so much myself and enjoy sharing these gifts with others. You can find out more about my classes here and you can even download Relax Kids meditations from my website here. I also have a shop where you can find cds which I have used myself. As always leave me a comment below if you have anything to share, or contact me privately if you would prefer. 

This amazing photo was taken in Sri Lanka in 2009.

 And you can share the love by passing on my blog post for others to enjoy. Thanks!

 

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Relaxation Meet-up

Ever wanted to learn more about how to relax or meditate? My new meet-ups will provide a place where you can do just that. Contact me to learn more or book your place.

I will be hosting my first relaxation meet-up on Thursday 12th April from 7.00pm.

 This is a place to meet and learn more about how to still our minds and relax our bodies. 

  • The session will last an hour, with half an hour put aside for drinks and nibbles and to meet other participants. 
  • We will be doing a simple meditation which is perfect for beginners.

Date: 12th April 2012 7.00pm – 8.30pm

Cost: £4

Venue will be in Enfield, full address on application

Contact me now to book your place, as spaces will be limited. 

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This event is now CLOSED. Please click here to find out about up-coming events.

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New Yoga Class

Recently I wrote about My Yoga Challenge where I was planning to spend 20 minutes a day practising yoga. Since then I have been practising in my living room (almost every day) and have already seen a difference in my flexibility and ability to stay in certain poses for longer. It is amazing how doing ‘little and often’ can make such a difference. So much so that I started going to a new yoga class last week. I was very excited about it, but was also a bit apprehensive as I am somewhat restricted by what I can do, due to the arthritis in my joints.

Over the last few years, I have mainly practised yoga at home following a DVD, so I was looking forward to learning directly from a teacher. I knew it would be a challenge as there are certain poses I can’t (yet) do, but my teacher showed me several ways to protect my joints, and simplified some poses for me. 

Cat Pose

The pose below known as Cat, has always been a firm favourite with me, although I find it hard to press my weight onto my hands (as shown). Instead, I tend to make a fist and lean on my knuckles (which isn’t great for my hands). Last week, my teacher gave me a long tube-shaped cushion to place under my hands – which meant I could then lay my hands quite flat. I was then more able to focus on breathing in and out, and pulling my stomach muscles in to round and flatten my spine. Coordinating the breathing and movement are core principles in yoga, so once my hands were taken care of, I could focus on that.

Yoga Pretzels, Cat pose

Lying Twist

The lying twist may not look difficult, but if you are unpractised in it, it can be a strong pose. I love the feeling in my sides when I do this pose, because I spend a lot of time sitting in a hunched way – this really stretches them out and gives the spine a lovely rotation too. My teacher suggested that rather than just bending both of my knees and then twisting over, that I cross one leg over the other knee, then perform the twist – this lessens the stretch on the joints and ligaments. It still feels like a stretch, but does not over-stretch before you’re ready. She also suggested placing a cushion under my knees.

Yoga Pretzels, lying spinal twist

Child’s Pose

This is a pose which I need a lot more practise at. It is named Rock on this card, but I know it as Child (or Child’s) pose. This is a resting pose, which can be used between poses (or asanas). I find that on some days, I can get my forehead nearer to the floor, and on others, I feel like I am way off the ground. This is usually when my thigh muscles or knees feel tight. I just have a go, come out of it and sometime later I try again. I didn’t really understand what ‘breathing into a pose’ meant for ages – but now, I find that with each out breath, my body releases a tiny bit more tension and each cell becomes a little bit more relaxed. This is when I can perform Child’s pose well – I feel like my back is more flat, my arms are loose, my knees and thighs are comfortable and my forhead rests gently on the ground. 

Yoga Pretzels, Child pose

Triangle Pose

In order to be able to get into triangle, you first need to do ‘Down Dog’ (or Downward Facing Dog) which involves placing a lot of weight on your hands. This is a big no-no for me, but with the help of my teacher’s foam blocks, I was able to perform triangle pose. She placed them just under my hands when I was stretching down and it basically gave me a step where I could  lean and not hurt myself. I would not have even attempted this at home with my DVD as I would be afraid of injuring myself!

Yoga Pretzels, Down Dog or Downward Facing Dog

Yoga Pretzels, Triangle Pose

Yoga Class Vs Yoga at Home

I really liked the communal aspect to the yoga class. (I have only ever experienced this once when I was on holiday in Turkey – blissful!) Even though the participants are of different ages and levels of training; we could still exercise and relax together. I realised just how much I have already learnt on my own and at the same time how much more there is to learn… I can’t wait for this evening’s class! 

All photos are of cards from Yoga Pretzels, by Tara Guber and Leah Kalish, illustrated by Sophie Fatus. You can buy a set of Yoga Pretzel cards from my shop.                                      

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Relax Kids CDs and Downloads

As you may know, I am a huge fan of Relax Kids CDs for both children and adults. I have successfully used them myself to help me drift into an undisturbed sleep and have also used them in the classroom, to help get children into a relaxed mode and ready for learning. Even though they are mainly designed to help children get to sleep, they have many other uses. Here’s what some customers have said. They might help you to decide which one is right for you.

It is now even easier to access these short meditations because you can now buy Relax Kids downloads from my site!

Which CD or Download should I buy?

For using with children at bedtime:

 “I bought the Magical Meditation for Superheroes CD for my 3 year old boy. He loves it so much. We take him up to bed and once we have read him a bedtime story he asks for his CD to be put on and he falls asleep listening to it every night.” Julie

“When my baby was going through an unsettled phase, I would put him on a fluffy blanket, stroke his head and play the Quiet Spaces CD. This really calmed him. I find it also helps me to unwind after a busy day.” Kathryn

For teachers to use with children in the classroom:

“My class love the Calmer Classrooms CD. We use it around twice a week and the children really relax. They also like saying the positive affirmations at the end of each meditation.” Claire, Year 3 teacher

For adults to relax at home:

“I use the Nature Meditations CD at home – it relaxes me so much that I find myself waking up as the CD finishes, with no recollection of anything after the first track. Seems to work as a power nap although I wake up feeling refreshed instead of fuzzy-headed.” Rebecca

For aiding a restful night’s sleep:

“I go to sleep listening to the Nature Meditations on my iPod. Since using the CDs my sleep is much improved. It used to take at least 45 minutes  to drop off; now I set the timer for 15 minutes, knowing that I will be asleep before the track finishes. As soon as I hear the voice on the track, I feel totally relaxed which aids in a good night’s sleep.” Bridget

Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions and here’s that link again to download Relax Kids meditations as MP3s directly from my site.

Thank you to my friends who gave me their reviews 🙂

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Weekend Walks – Hampstead

I recently signed up to a website called ‘Me and You Health’ which is an  online community site for promoting better health and well-being. So I was pleased when my daily challenge for today was to go for a walk with someone and chat on the way. This was music to my ears – walking and talking are amongst my two favourite activities, so inspite of the rain, I went for a walk around Hampstead – a beautiful and historic suburb of North West London. I have been to Hampstead lots of times before, but have mostly stuck to the main roads, and Hampstead Heath. To guide me through the historic village, I used a book called ‘Walking Village London’ by Andrew Duncan (you can find it listed in the shop).

Hampstead Tube (built in 1907) is the deepest station on the underground network

The walk started at the tube station, and before long I found myself (mysteriously) in a cafe drinking very luxurious hot chocolate…

After sheltering from the rain, I began the walk which was lovely and quiet because by its very nature, it takes you down back streets and away from the main drag. I loved the Victorian architecture and the mix of buildings, many of which are now private apartments. The proximity of Hampstead to Central London (4 miles to Charing Cross) makes it a very expensive place to live (and looking in estate agents windows certainly proves this). Despite being so close to Central London, Hampstead still has a village air about it; it has markets, winding narrow streets, tons of cafes and lots of communal green spaces. 

Back lane, London NW3

 Further along I noticed this plaque on the side of a building which reads: ‘…Thank almighty God for his special mercy in sparing this parish during the visitation of cholera in the year 1849…’

Looking down from New End towards New End Square, I noticed The Shard which is due for completion in May 2012. It already became the tallest building in the European Union in December and when it is finished it will be 310m tall. 

View of The Shard of Glass from Hampstead

I loved this second hand bookshop down Flask Walk.

 And right next to it was this Banksy-style artwork…

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog

Looking down Flask walk

I then arrived at the Antiques Emporium and wandered through the shops. There were objects and pieces from various eras, but I particulary loved these antique quilts.

Antique quilts and furniture

Walking out onto the main road for a few minutes, I noticed this huge ghost sign on the front of this building:

 An earlier part of the walk took me to St. John’s church and the burial tomb of John Constable, painter of The Hay Wain.

Constable came to live in Hampstead in the 1820’s to escape the pollution of Central London, and breathe the clean air. As his wife suffered from tuberculosis, and he loved to paint on Hampstead Heath, it was a good place for both of them. Constable painted numerous studies of the heath.

John Constable lived here from the 1820’s to his death in 1837.

Well, that concludes my weekend walk from today. I learnt lots of new things about a part of London I have always admired from afar. As my guide book says the only way to really get a feel for a place is to get out there and start exploring. So what are you waiting for? Get those walking shoes on and get out there!

You can read about other walks I have done here:

Lastly, you know I always welcome your comments, so drop me a line below 🙂

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Relaxation Meet-ups

Starting in spring 2012… I am going to be hosting monthly relaxation meet-ups in North London. The meet-ups will be a  way of learning relaxation and meditation techniques, practising them and sharing a relaxing space together. I each session I will share some NLP techniques too. Send me an email at zeenat@embracecoaching (or use the contact form) to show your interest and I will send you the details!

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Weekend Walks – Trent Park

The obelisk was brought from Wrest Park, by owner Sir Philip Sassoon in 1934 I had a lovely walk in Trent Park on Saturday, which is in Oakwood, North London. The park has been home to a Middlesex University campus since 1992, before which it was part of Middlesex Polytechnic. The grand house and its grounds have a rich history, daing back to the fourteenth century, which you can read more about here. 

Two sphinxes flank the stairs down to the grounds, at the back of the mansion

As you may know, I am very interested in statues and can’t resist staring at them at every opportunity. Luckily for me, London has more statues than any other city in the world. Most of the time, I find myself rushing past them like everybody else, trying to get to the next place. Occasionally I make the time to stop and look at them properly. I think it’s brilliant that we have such beautiful art on public display for everyone to enjoy.

I haven’t yet been able to find out more about this particular statue, but hopefully I will, because in a few weeks time I am going on a Trent Park History and Mystery walk! I find it fascinating – who are the characters and what does the lion at the bottom symbolise? In the picture below you can see a close-up of the lion’s open mouth – perhaps it’s roaring?

My favourite statue in Trent Park

The vast park is home to hundreds of trees. I remember when I studied at Middlesex Uni, finding out that a new tree is planted to commemorate the life of the university’s lectureres after their death. What a lovely way to be remembered.

This statue depicts Venus, and stands to the right of the mansion house

This fallen tree is almost completely hollow in the middle

The Mansion Building, Trent Park

You can read more about the statues outside St Paul’s Cathedral which I blogged about earlier.

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Mums and Kids Relaxation

Last month I ran a relaxation session for mums and their children together as I thought this would be a lovely way for younger children to experience a relaxation session.

I wanted to find out what mums would like the most if I were to market these sessions to the public – do they want a special time with one of their pre-school children, or would they like to be able to bring their baby along too? I have noticed that most groups are for either mums and babies (no older siblings) or mums and older children (no babies). Many mums would love to be able to go to sessions with one of their children, but they don’t have the childcare options to do that, so they need to take both children with them. For this reason, I tried out a relaxation session with a range of children – babies from 3 weeks old (who luckily slept through the session) to children who are almost five and have started school. 

The results were just as I suspected!

I found out that children of 3 and over could join in and feel the benefits of relaxing with their mums most easily, and some of the babies enjoyed the snuggly part of the session when they got to lie down and have a cuddle. The toddlers (who could crawl or walk and talk a little) were the hardest to engage. They had a blast all the same because they were enjoying running around and shouting happily, but this made it difficult for the other children and mums to hear and to relax! The feedback from most mums was to have separate sessions. It was a valuable insight and I learnt a lot about the sort of space I would need to hire in order to make the best sessions possible.

Again, I would like to extend a huge thank you to all of my friends who came along to the session and helped me with my research.

You can register your interest in relaxation classes for mums and children by emailing me via the contact form.

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Relaxation Party

Last month I held a Relaxation Party at my home with a small group of friends, to introduce them to some simple relaxation techniques and to share the Relax Kids CDs which I had been raving about. I wanted to create an arena where I could allow people to listen to the cds and experience them first hand, so as such I made a little listening station complete with cd player and headphones in the kitchen. I chose my music, aromatherapy oils, lighting and seating arrangements carefully in order to create the right mood. As ever, space was an issue but we had just the right amount of people to make it feel full, but so that we could still fit. My lovely neighbour kindly leant me a few chairs which did the trick.

A selection of Relax Kids cds and books

More Relax Kids cds

The guests were either primary school teachers or mothers of young children (or both), and to make the evening even more relaxing, the ladies were able to book massages with my guest Mary. Again, I spent time making the ‘treatment room’ (my bedroom) as welcoming as possible, with fairy lights and candles. Almost every lady had a treatment – hand, foot or neck and shoulder massages, so by the end of the evening we were all completely relaxed.

One lucky guest won a Relaxation Gift Bag in the raffle!I shared all manner of massage books and paraphernalia I have amassed over the years too. Finally I taught a little self-massage and we did a short group meditation. 

I was really pleased with how the evening went, because I hadn’t really talked to my friends much about meditation or relaxation before. Many of my friends are teachers, and as a group we tend to be quite wound-up and cynical (or maybe that’s the cynic in me talking)! I had spoken to individuals about my NLP and coaching work, and I’ve led some training sessions at my old school to do with new-agey type stuff, but I was still nervous about sharing this part of my life with some of my friends. I suppose because it was in a group of people as opposed to talking to individuals about it. So, to those who were there, I’d like to extend huge thanks for your support. I felt the whole experience was very succesful and has also spurred me onto have some new exciting ideas, so watch this space for updates!

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My Yoga Challenge

I first started learning yoga around ten years ago. Not in a big way, just on my own with a dvd. Even though I did not realise it at the time, I made progress slowly and was becoming more flexible over the months. Having arthritis and being flexible just don’t go together; it’s as though one part of me craves to be able to bend and stretch with ease and grace, but the other part just wants to be very still – usually to avoid causing further strain or pain. For anyone who is interested in reading more about living with a chronic illness, I would urge you to read The Spoon Theory, by Christina Miserandino, which my friend Little Miss Delicious shared on her blog. In the article, Christina uses an analogy to explain what it’s like to live every day, constrained by an illness. As much as I like to focus on my wellness, when things are bad, I do get a little down.

Fortunately after a few months of feeling very tired from being in lots of pain, my consultant has reassessed my medication and now I am now somewhat back on track. Hallelujah! That means I have had more energy this last week to dedicate to the things I love – my blog, my relaxation classes, coaching, teaching and thinking up new challenges for myself! So my new challenge is that I am going to dedicate 20 minutes of my day, every day to yoga and to regaining some of that energy and flexibility. 

I will let you know how I get on 🙂

Tree is my favourite pose at the momentShown above: Yoga Pretzels: 50 Fun Yoga Activities for Kids and Grownups by Tara Guber, Leah Kalish and Sophie Fatus

I would love to hear from anyone with arthritis who could share some yoga tips with me. Or anyone who teaches yoga and can give me any advice. Thanks in advance!

As always, feel free to comment, send me an email or chat on Facebook or Twitter. And if you’re feeling kind, subscribe to more updates!