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I was talking to a client today on a telephone coaching session and thought afterwards about how one of the simplest coaching skills we have worked on together has also been one of the most useful. It’s a well known NLP technique called the second skin. It is about creating a barrier between you and the world which allows you to experience everything fully, without the sting of difficult situations becoming overwhelming.

You could imagine the second skin is like a thick rubber wetsuit, which stops ‘bad things’ getting in, or it could be more like the ‘Ready-Brek glow‘. Whatever it looks and feels like it is useful to visualise it and imagine yourself stepping into it like a suit.

When you have put on your second skin, you can still engage with the world but you can feel safer doing it. Practising putting on your second skin can dramatically help build your confidence in different situations. 

Not so much a second skin, but a fun place to hide

 Find out more about Embrace Confidence Coaching workshops here.

What makes someone look for a life coach or want to hire a life coach? Why would someone consider life coaching or NLP coaching? I have been thinking about how I can write more useful posts to provide my readers with some self coaching tips and so that through my blog I can create a place for some online coaching. Hopefully I can help even more people to see things from different perspectives and make the changes in their lives that they really want to make their lives, through my blog.

 I have been thinking about future posts that would be of use and benefit to my readers and have been making changes to the website too. Please do let me know what you think of the changes. Your feedback is always welcome! 🙂

I also intend to keep writing posts about things that interest me, have caught my eye in some way or sharing some of my experiences, too, so from now on there will be a combination of these different types of blog posts. The categories are blog and tips.

Do you want to improve your memory and learn how to remember names? Perhaps you are good with faces? In this post I will explore how I remember names naturally and how I have improved this skill.

 I didn’t realise that I was good at remembering names until someone commented on it at work some years ago. My initial reaction was ‘Really? Do you think so?’ but once I started to reflect on it, I agreed that I did find it relatively easy, and by the comments I got from other people, they did not. This was particularly useful in my job as a teacher.

 I noticed the following things:

1. I found it easier to remember a name I had not heard before (- and as London is so culturally rich and diverse, this was fairly often). It is almost like I had to create a new file in my directory of names and this somehow made it easier.

2. I noticed that I had a short-term name memory (say for an hour-long lesson) or a medium term name memory (for the school term or year) and a long term name memory (for several years). This is often tested when I bump into ex-pupils who are now in their twenties!

3. In order to remember a name for the lesson or the day, I had to use relatively little effort – ask the pupil their name, listen, remember. But to be able to commit it to my medium or long-term memory I had to do several things including looking at their face, listening to their voice, asking them several questions about themselves and generally engaging in conversation. If I knew the pupil’s siblings or parents, or could draw on any other information about them, that helped too. So the more information I could attach to the pupil’s name and face (very important) the easier it was for me to remember their names. I also made a conscious decision to learn their names. This seems of critical importance.

4. Again, in order to take the names from my short-term to my medium or long-term memory I would need to use more effort – so I would also practise going around the class saying the all of the pupil’s names. I would always do this in the same order, until they were embedded in my memory. If I found that I could not immediately remember a name, I would ask the child to tell me it and I would look carefully at them, repeat whatever I knew about them to myself (or out loud, which is even better) and then move on to the next pupil. I would then start the sequence again. 

The whole process was quite unconscious for me, and would take about 10 minutes at the beginning of the day with a class I had not met before. I could usually get all of the names right after 3 goes. The pupils were very helpful when I struggled, giving me their name and a few interesting facts about them to help me. It always proved to be a lovely ice-breaker and I could  teach the children this technique for remembering things they learnt at school.

The other thing that is useful to note is why I wanted to remember names in the first place. I think it makes it so much easier to connect with another person when you use their name. You create an instant connection and reduce the distance between you. It makes people feel special and it shows that you have made and effort to remember their name.